One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs;

Questions.

2012-01-26T08:05:00.000-08:00

Where. Where is the moon that we used to dance to?
Used to laugh until we fell down.
Now it's all in the past.
How. How did we lost our way?
Was it something we said, or didn't?
Perhaps it was never real.
Lovers to strangers
We let ourselves fall
Something to nothing
Distance
It's like I never loved you before.

2012-01-19T17:16:00.000-08:00

For the pieces that don't fit in anymore.
For the insecurity.
For the many reasons we chose to ignore.
For you to say it's your fault,
and for me to say it's mine.

So I pushed that thought away, and shut myself away.
Ran in the pouring rain.
To feel the drops of water on me. To breathe.
I take this stand, right here.

If it is this how it's gonna end, then let's make it right.

Hello, I'm Cherlyn. and you are?

2012-01-19T03:54:00.000-08:00

Emptiness.
The feeling when you put yourself out there;
Only to be left alone.
Only to find out they already had their mind made up.
Only to realize that it wasn't real all along.
To feel the frustration, anger and dissapointment;
Because it is easier to feel this way than to face te truth.

Again, when will we stop being cowards?

Out.

How do you know?

2012-01-18T17:31:00.000-08:00

Baby, we are too afraid to admit it.
The thing we have,had.
Too afraid of the what would happen, because our heart was too afraid of our past.
So we fell in, succumbed to the stories of the past,
Because we were too darn afraid; to face the present,
To live in the now.
We let go, saying it's for the best.
But how can it be the best?

We're giving up. Because in reality, we are just plain cowards.

This is Long Due.

2012-01-02T17:17:00.000-08:00

The first day of semester two.

It is rather lovely; the feeling, reliving a 'tradition'- gathering our same group of friends and just spending some time together. Nothing grand though, just a simple 'potluck', music, a couple of dvds, and... ah, this year, or shall I say 'last year' we had a couple glass of red wine.

There they are, all my close friends whom I grown up with. (Well not all as some are in another country, some are on a holiday, some had futsal tournament and are just too tired to come, some had family plans and some, are just simply m.i.a.) It has been what, 3 years now? since we began this 'tradition' of ours? Now take a step back and take this. Every year, for 3 years now, we have been ending a year together and started a brand new one, together. What really amazes me today is to see how much each of us have grown into a bigger person in our respective lives. It is as if I 'zoned' out for a moment there, like how the movies would display it, person suddenly stops whatever he's doing and like they mute the sound system and he looks to his surroundings only to smile and chuckle at what he is seeing. Yep, I zoned out for a while there.
Honestly, I did not expect much that night, for everybody have their hands full- college life, college friends, and for some, living abroad. But no, they showed up. Even for those abroad, we managed to take some time to skype with them. Feeling touched yet?

I do not know if any of them felt the way I did that day but even if they don't, it doesn't really matter does it?

Knowing that I could rely on them, if ever I fall.
Laugh with, when one does the stupidest mistake ever.
Cry with, be it wheather it's because she's pms-ing or yeah, it's just one of those days.
Stand by them, when one leaves the country- for whatever the reason may be.
Surprise them, be it a birthday party or a farewell party, eventhough it never works as the person who is supposed to be 'surprise' would end up 'surprising' the planner instead...
Because you will listen to my complaints, even if it is 3 o'clock in the morning.
Because you will tell me to "shut the hell up" and move on.
Unplanned lunch hours and outings,
Being thousand miles away- forgive me for not being a good friend in keeping in touch- you still take your time to listen and updating me.
Calling me out on random times and just talk, talk about really; everything.
Relationships that did not work out, and yet you still treat me like how you used to.
Jogging at the lake, man the sight of construction was horrible.
Night outings, ignoring the curfew of one of our friends :p

I may not have listed all the memories we had together, but I bet reading this you are thinking of a few right now. Hey, hopefully every other time when you read this, those flashbacks of great and not-so-great memories will be replayed. And with that, my friend, we've made history.

Days come and go,
we grow a 'little' older.
But fret not, for our jokes are never a bore.
Responsibilities are on our shoulder now,
even more than before.
But hold on, take a moment, take a pause here.
For I want you to know that whatever you are up to in the amazing life of yours;
at times of happiness to the time if, if you ever fall,
Just know that I have your back.
I'll try my very best, to help you get back on your track.

Happy new year, my dear friends (:

Cheers.

Tabula Rasa.

2012-01-01T22:32:00.000-08:00

media art.

Rediscovering...oneself.

♥

2012-01-01T06:59:00.000-08:00

April.

I'm starting to get a little ~~lazy~~ creative here. So why not visual aid? (:

Richmond High School Prom.

"Party in the USA"

Philippines, US, Malaysia, Azerbajan, Finland, Italy

"Budak ni kan, macam Diva" -ALET

Field Trip USA !

Feet, don't fail me now.

2011-12-30T22:06:00.000-08:00

March.
Oh, I'll surpise you alright!

3rd March 2011
Track was hilarious (at least for me). Drills was the part where it was.. uh kinda embarassing today. See, I am kinda new at practice so I tag along with Hannah in the gym (basketball court). Let me paint the picture in your head : drills from one end to the other of the court. Butt kicks, stretches.. you name it. Out of nowhere, everybody started sprinting. Human reaction : for me was taking longer than usual at that very moment. So yeah. I was like, CRAP. GO! While I was running I stepped on my shoelaces.. and for a split two second delay there I was falling towards gravity. Yep, fell forward. Got a bruise on my knee and left hip. Bravo.
But, I did got up and continued running.

xxxx

To be honest, I do feel lonely at school. I know I have friends whom I hang out with and all; there are people whom i talk to and all. But beneath our short, not serious conversation, I feel different. I want someone to talk to-someone who i can actually tell how i feel and what is going through my mind when you do an American thing of yours. It has been two months since I am here. Why do I still feel this way?

xxxxx

SPM results.

The phone rang at 1104pm last night.

"BABE!! You got straight A's!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?! You serious? Really?!"

"Yeap, all A + except BM, A. Ok? I love you"

Short, brief conversation in a phone call.

I wanted to scream out of joy. But no I should not.. as everyone else in the house is already asleep.

So there I was, holding on two phones sitting on the kitchen floor waiting for, idk. I want to be there with my friends right now. I want to celebrate and cry with them.. Gosh, here it is like no big deal to any of them, so the excitement I feel just does not feel real. I sent a few emails to Malaysian mom, then just lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, thinking.

♥

2011-12-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

February.
Ice. Snow. CNY and 18, away from home.

10th Feb.

-4'F outside! When I walked out the house this morning, I could feel the icy-ness of the cold. My fingers went numb. Luckily Karri's car was already warmed up when I got in it (:

Celebrating Chinese New Year, and me turning 18 there was really...different. My host family and I held a CNY + my birthday kinda party. Which really, is nice! Lots of people came. We prepared fusion food, ordered chinese looking decorations, made Dad climb up to hang up the decos' ... Ah, such a different environment for me there. Back home everyone would be very loud, talking bout not sweeping the floors, preparing cookies in the cookie jar.. preparing offerings for grandpa.. Well I guess it was a success, most of the guest really did not experience a chinese new year party before. So there you go!

♥

You Learn Who Your Real Friends Are.

2011-12-30T09:24:00.000-08:00

January 2011.
Seat 53 C.

Airport, the day I left for the States. (Ignore the date)

So here is how I started my year of 2011. While some of my classmates already starting college, some working part time, some just ~~plain lazy~~ "taking a break" from studying, I was leaving for the United States for an exchange programme with AFS.

"You are not going to cry." I keep telling myself that.

But eventually I did. How could I not?

Flashback : I have not seen my friends since the new year's party as I had to pack, and attend my pre-departure camp etc. At the end of the day, I was a little worned out, tired. The day I left the camp was the day of my departure. Mom came to pick me up from the hotel in Shah Alam, and surprisingly Rui Zhen came too. I started to ask where are all my friends? Are they not going to see me go off? But honestly, at that point I was worried about packing.

SURPRISEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

......... I think Vincent still has that video of me acting frantically when they all screamed "surprise."

They were here! All of them, closed ones mostly. They put together a farewell party, secretly with mom. How could I not see this coming! ;)

Screw the packing. That moment there, was all I need at that time.

I love you all. (you know who you are)

♥

Come, as You Are

2011-12-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

I guess it is really not THAT surprising when you look on the right side of this page, and see that in the year of 2011, there is only... wait for it......... ONE post so far. Yes, 365 days and I only posted once this year. To be honest, the only reason why that post was there was due to an AP English assignment I had. Oh well. What a productive year for my blog.

Kidding.

So okay. I'll give in now. Considering the fact that the this year is ending, and another is beginning, why not relive those memories of mine here. So YEAH, wait for it!

to be continued.

Cheers.

Look At The Stars, Look How They Shine For You

2011-05-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I was lying on my tummy on the floor, listening to my iPod while doing my ACP US History Anthology Project Paper - Eugenics Movement, when my 3-year old host sister nudge me on my shoulder. I looked up at her and smiled. With her ever so adorable voice, she asked
" Emmm.. Cherlyn, what are you doing? "
"Oh HI Zoeeee! I am doing my ..homework!" while taking off my right piece of earphone. " What are YOU, doing Zo? "
She looked at me, head tilted to the side and said "I am.. I am gonna do my homework to , okay Cherlyn?"
She then runs out of the room only to return seconds later with a notebook like mine on on hand and a blue pencil in the other. She lays down on her tummy (like me) and begin scribbling lines or whatever it is going through her mind and oh, wait for it- yes,once satisfied, holds that piece of paper up high in front of me and says "Look, I'm doing my homework," proudly. I could not help but to chuckle and compliment her work. "Good job Zo!"

That very moment I realize how much a younger sibling looks up to the elder ones. I now see, how much our younger siblings 'want' to imitate; to follow; to play; to act and to do things like what their qeqe or jie jie (elder brother and elder sister respectively) do. Now, for me being the youngest in my family never did realize how much I have probably annoyed my two lovely elder siblings when I was younger (I probably still do annoy them :p ) Perhaps now, looking back, I did learn from both of them -in a way or two and perhaps in the future, Zoe would feel the same way too.

:)

I'll See You Next Year, get it?

2010-12-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

Dear Reader,

Yes, I know, I know... I have been asking myself the very same question.

"Why is my blog so dead?"

Oh well, no specific reason for that question... Just did not have the mood I guess?
Dushkk! Anyways, I suddenly have the mood to blog today, so here goes...

So since Year 2011 is coming, and we have to say sayonara to Year 2010, why not do justice and just blog?

YEAR 2010
The very beginning of year 2010, I told myself that this year is going to be different. Things will be different. Heck, of course things will be different.
And today, being the last day of this very year, I could safely say that ,
different? hm very true indeed !

How about a little flashback on what happened (to my life and maybe a little bit on others) this year, eh ?

Hosted INDRA from Indonesia (IBYE) ! ah.. my 'brother' (who is most probably reading this now. hello :D )
I was elected as class monitor.... Haha.
I did not run 3000m again. Surprise!?
YELLOW HOUSE WON! I am, really, a proud-only-girl captain. (syok sendiri)
Another medal for MSSD hurdles!
I joined in the Cultural Club. Yay!
I think I joined too many clubs this year.
Diving at Perhentian again. Loved it. ( too bad John could not join me this year :p )
I overcome stage fright (if i had that). Sang in Leo IU, something which I don't think I would do. Kudos eh?
Ups and Downs during AFS interviews and scholarship applications.
Mending of certain friendships.
Learnt more about my roots. Peranakans.
SMK Subang Jaya 's Sinar Jaya is ready on time! ( kudos to the Ed Board team ! )
Struggle and juggle between co-cu and SPM.
Struggle with accounts. GAH.
Did Physics SPM in the hospital. Had gastric -.-
Cried after Accounts paper. Oh well.
Left for Japan, for a homestay program. Loved it.
Got selected for AFS !

Without even realizing it, another year has come and gone by.

Year 2011
I don't know what the future lies ahead. I will be leaving for the states soon. Currently, I am feeling euphoric ,and all excited about my student exchange journey. But really, even with all the smiling and acting all "OMG" on the outside, I am actually a little scared about it. Terrified, really. Heck, I could not even bring myself to tell my friends that I am leaving ,only until about a few weeks ago? Really. Six months may sound really short, but if one second makes a difference to the person who came in second in a 100m race, imagine what a difference a whole six months would make. Would things change when I come back? Pfft, will people change? Will my friends now still be my friends ? I would be miles away from home. How homesick would I get? Yeah, that is some of the many questions I find myself, sometimes wonder. But again, lets just live a day as it is shall we? I am sure, that whatever happens in the near future, has its reason.

I am ready for the brand new year. Are you ?
Happy New Year, and really, have a wonderful one!

cheers,

Cherlyn (:

Life's a Twist.

2010-08-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

Have you ever wanted something so bad, that when you don't have it, it crushes you, making you feel that life is so unfair and you close your teary eyes, wondering if the world knows how much it means to you?
*hands up*

I DO.

At this particular point of my life, I couldn't help but to ask myself;
Was it because of some things I did, or DIDN'T do? Or was it just because of something I said?
If I would have done this(or that) in the past, would the result be the same? IF.

Now, would it?

IF is A possibility, condition, or stipulation. What would or could have happen if the past me have done things differently, only god knows.
I once heard a saying that goes, " Everything happens for a reason ". Well, for now, it better be for a darn good reason. Sigh. Yes, I feel like I could have done things better. I feel like I have let the nervousness of myself control me. Such a bummer. Oh well.

♥

Enough with the IF's and what would of could have happen. The present me says it is time to move on.
The sad phase has to move on the happy phase, somehow sometime. Why feel so down when you have a choice to be up? Besides, lets admit it.
SHIT HAPPENS.
Its only a matter on how YOU, take it in.

IF you fall,

Dust it up,

Get up,

Things will get better;

eventually.

Papa said, the most important thing in life is that; you, yes YOU- never, ever, give up.

Life goes on (:

I am strong , ya'll.

Cheers.

You are like a maze.

2010-08-03T08:03:00.000-07:00

Konnichiwa Reader,

Thank you for being a loyal visitor to my VERY interesting blog. Honestly, sometimes I wonder why this blog even existed.. but for now, I might as well post, er.. a post !

The question of (my) day is : What do people usually blog about? Like, seriously. How do people just HAVE a blog? How did they even decide to start a blog.
Did they wake up one day and go "OMG ! I SHOULD GET A BLOG" ?!
I have come across a few blog sites and this is pretty much my conclusion - and a twist of my story :)

Some people have a blog site to ;

1) Talk on their daily life.
Hello ! Today I woke up at 6.30am. Had a light breakfast, and head to school. How was school? Well, school was pretty much the same, except I had to walk around the block to pass around some letter for the NIKE TRAINING RUN PROGRAMME happening tomorrow to the participants. Second time NIKE is organising this programme- still the respond are overwhelming. 118 people ! Sometimes I think they just join the programme because it has the word NIKE in it. How tacky. Oh well.. Went out for lunch with my sister then head to add math tuition. AH, binomial distribution. Dear the-people-who-discovered-probability , you rock ! how you manage to come up with the table of normal distribution amaze me. and yes,it is sometimes indeed confusing like a maze.

Bottom line is : I eat. I drink. I shit. I sleep. ZZZZZzzzzz

2) Bimbo blog !- people's favourite.(come on, I know you like it too)
LIKE, OMGGGGG .You can not believe what just happened today!!
I saw A , making out with B, who is suppose to be with C, but C dumped B for D.

(I fail- lets try it again)

I like, totally, totally, TOTALLY loveeeee my day! Had a greaaat day at school. ♥ ♥
Unfortunately, there is bad news. *frown* You ready for the bad news??

.......I.... broke.....my... NAILSSSSSSSS !! :( :( :(
super duper sadness right now.. I mean like, I just, *sniff* *sniff* can not believe it!
My manicure...... my ..... (sigh).

I think I need a new hair cut! Wee ♥

( I do not- I repeat, I DO NOT talk or act like this. My attempt of writing a bimbo blog - FAIL!

OMG, right?....)

3) Bitch about stuff. (really)
Fck. I honestly don't know what is that X problem? If he really has a problem with her, why can't they solve it maturely? Honestly, I'm getting tired of being in between their childish act.
BLA BLA BLA.
You get the point ,ey?

Why blog about it? Lashing out anger in this space isn't gonna solve the problem. Come on, it is the 21st century. Grow up.

Okay, enough with the negatives.

4) Informative blogs.
Did you know that ................
Interesting facts! ..............
Rangka karangan............ etc.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

5) Random stuff.

Like this one that you are reading (:

So what kind of blogger are you?

Cheers.

I'm seven -teeen! You?

2010-06-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine was writing some notes on his book when I, being the playful person I am, decided to just nudge him. (not a very smart move)
*nudge*
His pen moved over the what would have been a perfectly written sentence, instead it formed a line across the page.
He looked at me and said, " How old are you again? " and chuckled.
"Sorry" ,I replied.

Was I being childish? I don't know. Maybe I was.
But after what he said really got myself thinking.
Do I always act like that? I mean, I realized that I am a little cheeky. Like I can make the lamest thing out of every single word you say. Sometimes I can be ~~pretty~~ annoying I think. I get excited at the littlest thing, laugh at the stupidest joke and sometimes end up laughing at my own jokes -.- ahhhh ,I know.
I just don't get it. Why must everyone be so up tight? So serious ALL THE TIME.
The world needs a break. You need a break. So smile.
aaah I love, me (:

fck.

I AM STILL A KID , at heart .~~though sometimes~~ it shows.

The Awesomeness of Awesome!

2010-06-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

Axis of awesome- four chord song

Don't you just love surprises? (:

2010-04-30T08:53:00.001-07:00

Aku Milik Kamu (:

Wait for it!

<3

Update me please?!

2010-03-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I couldn't help but to realise that its been a looooooongg time since I've submitted a post, ey?
I bet this is like, the most dull- never been updated blog ever! Oh well, who reads this blog anyway? Oh wait, you do (:

SO WHATS UP?
Basically, this year I've been really busy? Or shall I say, "occupied" instead..
Overwhelmed with all the activities I'm involved in (this few months of the year are where all the clubs and stuff are active) , I think there WERE times I feel like I'm a SUPERWOMAN (oh wait. I AM!! ,am I? ) With all the studies, sports. FUH.
Nah, just kidding... Finding it hard to stick to a tight schedule. No, I AIN'T stress (:

UPS ?
Excited for SPORTS DAY !! GO YELLOWW ! woooot!

MAN Utd 's Park scoring the second goal against Liverpool ? HAH!

DOWNs?
Went online, wanted to register for Energizer Night Run ,only to find out registration was closed the day before.. Dang.

Got a freaking C for BM:(

So there, bits of whats going on in this "interesting" life of mine.

Tuning in to : Wavin flag

Run,

Swooooosh !

"Sexy" Seventeen -according to Kelvin

2010-02-07T02:42:00.000-08:00

Reader,

I AM SAD/HAPPY. Can one really feel both at the same time?
I DON'T FEEL SEXY.

In approximately 6 hours time, it would be my 17th year on planet Earth. WOW

cheers,
"I am sixteen, going on seventeen ~

hello, 2010

2010-02-07T02:38:00.000-08:00

Reader,

Forgive me for the extremely late and ketinggalan zaman post.. The reason ? It's because i have been ~~lazy~~ busy. Yeahpppp (:
I realized that it already has been ~~one~~ TWO months since it turned into a new year - I guess the year is no longer new. I couldn't help but to wonder if I, myself, CHERLYN have any resolution(s) this year..
Apparently, I do. It revolves around ;

Have FUN -in everything I do.

LOVE - everything I do.

SMILE - no matter what happens * (be "stress"-free!)

*short talk

did you know that it takes 43 muscles to frown and only 16 to smile? So smile more often!

Yeahp, that's pretty much it.

Love,

late-2010-resolution-er (;

Every seconds count

2009-12-23T19:44:00.000-08:00

Hello reader.

Have you ever been woken up by a dream, only to forgot what the dream was about?